The COVID-19 pandemic has reshaped many aspects of our lives, from work and education to social interactions, all adapting to new restrictions. However, one of the most alarming shifts has been the significant rise in domestic violence globally.
The impact of domestic violence on society is profound, potentially outlasting and overshadowing the effects of COVID-19. Yet, unlike the pandemic, there’s no widespread call to halt daily activities like schooling, business operations, or travel until domestic violence is eradicated. This oversight will have long-term consequences, even after the pandemic fades.
Domestic violence disproportionately targets women and children, largely due to their vulnerability.
From an evolutionary standpoint, women, especially those with children, often found themselves in positions where leaving a dangerous situation wasn’t viable. They stayed, prioritizing the care of their children. This historical context sheds light on why, even today, many women enduring domestic violence choose to stay, as leaving can pose even greater risks to themselves and their children.
It’s crucial to understand that domestic violence isn’t a display of strength. It’s the opposite: a manifestation of weakness. The perpetrator, in a position of relative power, preys on someone more vulnerable. This dynamic is akin to bullying, where the act is not a sign of the perpetrator’s strength, but rather their own fragility and inability to cope in healthier ways.
Reflecting on Gender and Violence: A Personal Journey Throughout my life, I’ve been hesitant to link violence with gender. This skepticism partly stemmed from my father, who didn’t fit the mold of a traditional dad. I admired the unique aspects of his character, consciously overlooking the more conventional traits. This perspective also led me to disregard the glaring gender disparity in our prison systems.
However, a recent deep dive into Australian prison statistics opened my eyes. And I suspect the situation is similar, if not more severe, in other parts of the world.
The 2017 Prisoner Census in Australia revealed a striking imbalance: males constituted nearly 93% of the total standardized prisoner population, with females accounting for just about 7%.
This is a glaring issue!
The financial burden of this imbalance is substantial. In 2020, the cost of incarcerating a single individual in Australia was around $100,000 annually. That’s per person, every year. This staggering figure highlights not just a social issue, but also an economic one, demanding urgent attention and action.
Addressing the Hidden Costs of Domestic Violence The financial impact of domestic violence on women and children extends far beyond the $100,000 annual cost of incarcerating an individual. When we consider the broader economic implications, the toll is staggering, potentially surpassing the billions lost due to COVID-19.
This cost encompasses not just the imprisonment of perpetrators but also the support needed for survivors and their children. Tragically, the cycle often continues, with children from these backgrounds facing challenges in becoming productive, law-abiding citizens. They may earn less, require more support, and are at a higher risk of engaging in criminal activities.
This issue is a social crisis that demands immediate attention. I urge everyone to familiarize themselves with the statistics on violence against women in Australia, which likely reflect a global trend. It’s our collective responsibility to be informed and to advocate for change.
Consider the context: Australia’s population is only about 25.5 million, spread across a landmass comparable to the USA. And these statistics are from the pre-COVID era, indicating that the current situation might be even more dire.
A bleeding hand symbolizes the pain of domestic violence
Domestic Violence Against Women in Australia
- On average, one woman is murdered each week by a current or former partner.
- 1 in 3 women have faced emotional abuse by a partner since turning 15.
- 1 in 5 women have been subjected to sexual violence post-15.
- 85% of Australian women have encountered sexual harassment.
- 1 in 6 women have experienced stalking or abuse since age 15.
- Intimate partner violence is a major cause of health issues, disability, and premature death for women aged 18-44.
- Children of mothers who suffer domestic violence are more likely to have social and emotional challenges.
- 1 in 5 university students have faced sexual harassment.
- Half of all women have experienced sexual harassment.
- 1 in 3 young people using homelessness services have been victims of domestic violence.
- Indigenous women are 32 times more likely to be hospitalized due to family violence than their non-indigenous counterparts.
- 92% of LGBTQIA+ women have faced sexual harassment in their lifetime.
Addressing the Alarming Reality of Violence and Harassment The statistics on violence and harassment, particularly against women and those with disabilities, are deeply troubling. Consider these facts:
- 90% of women with disabilities have faced sexual harassment.
- Half of the women with disabilities have experienced workplace sexual harassment in the past five years.
- Domestic and family violence is the primary cause of homelessness for women and children.
- Australian police handle a domestic violence case every two minutes.
- One in four women has been sexually harassed at work.
- Only 18% of workplace sexual assault victims seek support.
- Half of the employees think sexist jokes at work are acceptable.
- Just 20% feel confident in helping a colleague facing violence outside work.
- 94% believe employers should educate their workforce on respectful gender relationships.
- In the past five years, half of the working population has encountered workplace harassment, either as a victim or a bystander.
A boy sitting on the ground, crying
- 40% of workplace sexual harassment incidents are witnessed, yet in 69% of these cases, bystanders don’t intervene. Perpetrators are predominantly male.
- One in five people report that sexual harassment is common in their workplace.
- One in three women has been harassed online or via technology.
- Violence against women costs the Australian economy an estimated $22 billion annually.
- A quarter of young people dismiss the seriousness of street harassment.
- One in four young people sees pressuring girls into sex as normal.
- A third of young people don’t recognize controlling behavior as violence.
The stress of this year has exacerbated these issues, with Google reporting a 75% increase in searches for domestic violence support.
What can be done?
I don’t believe in pointing fingers or playing the blame game. Instead, I advocate for education as a transformative tool, echoing Nelson Mandela’s belief that education is the most powerful weapon for changing the world.
Woman sitting in front of the word “No” sprayed on a wall
Beyond basic literacy and numeracy, I’m referring to what I call “parenting education.” This isn’t about instructing parents on what to do, but empowering them to parent from a position of strength, not weakness.
Violence often stems from a lack of emotional intelligence and the inability to manage one’s feelings. Strong parenting isn’t about force or aggression; it’s about inner strength, confidence, and control over one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.
In my relationship coaching and parenting workshops, I’ve encountered many caring parents and couples who, despite their love, resorted to force in relationships due to insecurity.
Empowering one parent can save a family, influencing a generation of children to manage relationships without resorting to violence.
Man’s clenched fist and a scared girl sitting on a bench
Self-confidence is a crucial skill, often overlooked in traditional education. While schools focus on reading, writing, and math, they seldom teach communication, relationship-building, and non-violent conflict resolution.
It’s time to wake up to this problem.
We can stop domestic violence, one parent, one man, one woman, and one child at a time. Because ultimately, family matters!
